A few years back, I was privileged to see Dennis Sparks lead a workshop on leadership. At one point during the conversation, he held up a copy of Daniel Goleman's Primal Leadership, and said, "If you're going to read just one book about leadership, this is it." (Let me add that I think much the same could be said about Dennis' own Leading for Results.)

Dennis' comment was enough for me, and I soon found myself reading several Goleman books, including Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, and Social Intelligence.ﾠAll offered helpful summaries of research and strategies that can help us negotiate the complexities of human interaction.

Social Intelligence had the greatest impact on me. In it, Goleman tells us that research on the brain shows that emotions are infectious. Here is how he states it:

"When someone dumps their toxic feelings on us--explodes in anger or threats, shows disgust or contempt--they activate in us circuitry for those vey same distressing emotions. Their act has potent neurological consequences: emotions are contagious. We catch strong emotions much as we do a rhinovirus--and so can come down with the emotional equivalent of a cold...

Every interaction has an emotional subtext. Along with whatever else we are doing, we can make each other feel a little better, or even a lot better, or a little worse--or a lot worse--we can retain a mood that stays with us long after the direct encounter ends--an emotional afterglow & or afterglower...

These tacit transactions drive what amounts to an emotional economy, the net inner gains and losses we experience with a given person, or in a given conversation, or on any given day. By evening the net balance of feeling we have exchanged largely determines what kind of day--'good' or 'bad'--we feel we've had" (pp. 13-14).

The fact that we catch each other's emotions has real implications for all of us as leaders and as people in relationships. For example, I think we all need to be mindful of the impact of others' emotions on us so that we do not fall prey to a nasty virus (the emotional equivalent of the swine flu).

As leaders, though, there are other, perhaps even more important implications of what Goleman teaches us. Part of leading is the way we share our emotions with others. Leaders who are quick to be angry, to express frustration, and who are not mindful of the impact of negative emotions, are infecting others with those emotions and those others inevitably affect others as well. In contrast, leaders who are quick to express warmth, happiness, and love foster positive emotions in others. Each of us shapes the emotions of those we touch. Part of leadership is recognizing that we, in a very real sense, create the emotions around us.

Goleman has had me thinking for some time. What if each of us was more mindful of the way we shape emotions in others? We could do simple things to make a difference, such as being polite, being quick to praise others, and being quick to share positive emotions.

This may sound corny, but I'm with Elvis Costello, who sang, "What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?" I have plenty of room for improvement as an emotion-shaping leader, but I am committed to doing my best to get better at sharing positive emotions. You can too. Happiness is a virus. Let's spread it around.

Jim Knight is a researcher at the University of Kansas Center for Research on Learning. You can read his blog on instructional coaching, and download free teaching manuals developed by the Kansas Coaching Project, at www.instructionalcoach.org. His e-mail address is jimknight@mac.com.